3.3.15 – 18.3.15

Dear Diary,

I know I have been super duper inactive lately, and I don’t really have a good excuse for it other than the fact that I couldn’t really be bothered blogging. Horrible, I know. Not that much has happened since I last blogged, to be honest.

Let’s see…

On March 4^th it was my 20^th birthday, and I got a phone call from my family in Phuket and they sang for me, which was lovely, and during the day I drove around in Pattaya with the boys because Daniel’s friends wanted to get inked, and only the boys and I knew the way to that specific tattoo parlor. When we met up with Daniel’s mates, they were down on the beach road, so we parked our bikes along the side walk, went in to the shop Daniel’s friends were in, and came back out after maybe five minutes, and our bikes were GONE! The police had confiscated them because apparently we had parked in a non-parking area. So we walked over to Pattaya Police Station, which, luckily, wasn’t that far away, where they asked us for the registration plate numbers, so I called my mom to get the numbers for my bike, only to find out that the bloke who wrote my fine had written Chonburi on it instead of Phuket, which is where my bike is from, so I had to grab a motorbike taxi and go to the yard where they kept the bikes, take a picture of my plate, go back to the police station, pay my fine, then go back to the yard again to get my bike. So 300baht for just the motorbike taxi because the stupid Thai police were sloppy when writing my ticket, then pay a 400baht fine, and then pay another 200baht at the yard for “parking”?!?! I found that insane! They could have just locked my bike up on the spot, but nooo, they HAD to move it to the other end of Pattaya and write the wrong province, and then ask me to pay for parking at a place THEY took the bike to? Idiotic. So, 900baht spent on nothing at all. Great birthday! Got to work and Janis, my co-worker, had gotten me flowers for my birthday! J He seriously is the sweetest guy ever. I miss working with him if I am being honest. He was always so kind and he truly cares about what you have been up to etc. Real nice guy.

The Friday after my birthday, we spent the entire day at the tattoo parlor again. Daniel’s friends were getting sleeves done, so it took a couple of days, though they turned out absolutely AWESOME! I think I might have found my Pattaya tattoo artist! Towards the end of the day we drove to the Pattaya view point, as well as the Big Buddha, where we released birds for good luck. After that we went home and got ready to go out and celebrate my birthday. Once we were ready, we took motorbike taxis down to Pattaya Beergarden, where we had dinner before heading to Lucifer on Walking Street. To my surprise, Khim had told the performers at Lucifer that it was my birthday, so in the middle of their first set, they pulled me and the boys up on stage while they, and every other person in the club sang happy birthday for me. It was a bit embarrassing since I hadn’t even had one beer before they did it, but it was still pretty awesome!

Let’s just say that Friday night was a successful night. It was a proper celebration of my 20^th, and a massive shoutout to the boys for making it awesome and spending it with me!

Sunday was the 8^th of March, my family’s 11 year mark of living in Thailand. Big stuff! It was also the one and a half year anniversary of my father’s passing, so there were lots of mixed emotions that day.

Monday I began working out again, which felt great, and I stuck to it for about a week, and every day except the first day, I did two 45 minute workouts, and unfortunately, it took a toll on my knees, which are still hurting to this day… So rest until later next week, and I will tell you why in a minute.

Friday I went for brunch at a little French bakery in between Pattaya and Jomtien with Fredrik, which was really nice, and they had amazing food! I had a wonderful, mouthwatering Prosciutto Panini and onion rings as well as a Crème Brule and a raspberry smoothie. The place is really neatly furnished and like I said before, the food is absolutely to die for! What was only supposed to be a brunch turned into a brunch, hanging out, and dinner. I had a really nice time with Fredrik, and he introduced me to a new TV show called Workaholics, which is hilarious, and I have to try to remember to download the rest of it!

On Saturday 14^th, I went to buy my very own laptop. I went to TukCom and found myself an Asus, just like the one I use at the office. It is white and works beautifully. I am really happy with my choice, so now my little sister will be getting her laptop back after being so very super kind and lending it to me when I moved to Pattaya. On Saturday I also got a surprise from Melinda, Khim’s girlfriend (I think) from Laos. I was watching TV when I heard someone shout my name, so I went out on the balcony, and there she was! The boys were in Jomtien watching a hockey game or something, so Melinda and I got ready and went down to Pattaya Beergarden for some dinner before going to Lucifer to listen to them perform a set. When we got to the restaurant I began to feel ill, and my entire body began to ache, like it usually does whenever I am about to get sick, so I wasn’t too keen on staying out too long. Got home around 1:30am and went to bed and fell asleep right away (unusual for me).

Woke up the next day and felt even worse, and each time I tried to get out of bed, I felt as if I was about to puke, so I slept until around 1pm before I finally had to get up and puke. I was so shaky and off the rest of the day, and so I stayed home from work.

Monday and Tuesday weren’t that eventful… Well, I met up with Fredrik again at that French place for a late lunch/dinner, and then went to meet up with Khim and Melinda at Central. At work it has been quiet. The people who pick up won’t let anyone of us even begin to explain what the meeting we are calling about are about. It’s a bit annoying to say the least.

Yesterday (Tuesday) when I got off work, Fredrik and I went to Kiss for a drink, then I went home and watched some TV before doing a MASSIVE cleaning of my entire apartment. It is now clean enough to perform surgery in! I needed to stay up all night last night because, at this very moment, I am actually on the bus on my way back to Phuket for Jack’s birthday! Since we work until 3am every day, I am used to staying up until around 4/5am, so if I slept last night, I wouldn’t fall asleep tonight until we were basically in Phuket, and I really don’t feel like staying awake the entire bus ride (14 hours).

It seemed like a good idea, and I guess it was, cause now I will sleep through the rest of the ride, but I am also so tired I could fall asleep right now, and I am trying to stay awake until the bus stops at around midnight.

Well, since I am on the bus while posting this, I will not be able to upload any photos from things we have been up to, but I will post those in a separate post another day. I just felt like I had to give you guys an update, so here it is!

I WILL UPDATE YOU ALL SHORTLY

I am so sorry for being so inactive lately, but I have been feeling pretty drained and confused and just awful, so as soon as I am back to normal, I will update you!

xxxx

I need to say this… For me…

My entire life, I have felt like my life wasn’t the way I wanted it to be. Like it was never going to turn out the way I wanted it to. Like I would never have a life and be the type of person my parents and grandparents could be proud of me for. When I went to Australia, I was in a daze from losing my dad. My mind was everywhere and nowhere and I was falling into a black hole out of which I never thought I would be able to get out of. Then I came to Mildura, and I began working doing regional farm work. It was no glamorous work or life, no, it was hard, back-breaking, wishing I could just sleep all day, type of work. But it made me feel good. I worked hard, 7 days a week, sometimes 12 hours in the Australian blazing hot sun. I woke up at 4:30am some days to get to work on time. It wasn’t easy, but it made me feel so good. I felt as if I was finally doing something with my life, something I could be proud of. I worked tremendously hard for my money, and I enjoyed life. When I came back home, mostly because I was missing my family, and seeing the circumstances when I left, 8 months seemed like more than enough, (even though the original plan was for me to stay an entire year) I felt like a failure. I had gone from working so hard everyday, earning my own money, paying my own rent, making my own food, washing my own clothes, to living at home and basically having everything served on a silver platter. It made me feel horrible living off of my mom, so I began looking for work around Phuket, but when I had no luck, I widened my search to anywhere in Thailand. This is when I found the job I got in Hua Hin. Within a few days, I was on my way to what I thought was going to be my new life, where I would be for a long time. Little did I know that the owners of the company would be doing basically everything against the law, and not being very subtle about it. So I worked until the end of the month, then it was back to Phuket. Again, I felt like a failure. I couldn’t stay at the job and so I went back home and felt as if I had failed myself. Failed my parents. Not too long after coming back to Phuket, my sister, nephew and I went off to Pattaya for yet another job I had gotten. My sister ended up going back when we realized it wasn’t going to work with my nephew. We would work such odd hours, and he is still a kid and we can’t change his routine around too much. I ended up staying, alone, in a completely new city, where I knew nobody. It was scary. I remember when my sister had left and was on her way to the airport to fly back home, I called my mother crying. I was terrified. Worse than when I went to Australia, but I said I would give it six months. For those six months, I was completely alone, no friends, no one. I went to work, and that is the only place I got the slightest socialization, though none of the guys I worked with would speak to me. But I did it. And now I have extended my contract on my apartment for another six months, and I have even gotten a raise at work. For the first time in my life, I am proud of myself. Of the life I have created for myself. Granted, it is not always that easy being so far away from my amazing family, but I can easily go back home whenever I miss them too much. I am so proud of myself. I have a great job, a steady job, with a great salary. I have my own apartment, which is just mine, and I have made it into my home. I have my own life here in Pattaya. I will start studying again soon, and then I will be earning plenty of certificates and diplomas, and I will be saving heaps of money, since at the moment, I am very bored during the days, which leads to me spending more money that I necessarily would. This, in turn, will lead to me being able to save money, and soon enough I will be going back to Australia for my last Working Holiday Year.

I do not say that I am proud of myself lightly. I am saying it now, because I truly am proud of me.

I still have my Days where I feel like less than dog shit, like these past couple of Days, but I am trying to get back to being happy, so I am Writing this to prove to myself that I am so much more than the negative thoughts I am currently having in my head.

27.2.15 – 2.3.15

Dear Diary,

I am aware that I have not been very active these past couple of days, and the reason for this is that I have been extremely busy, and I shall now tell you all about what has been going on!

On Friday I went to Big C and bought myself a little early birthday present – a camera! I have wanted one for so long, and now I finally have one! I will be taking a lot of pictures now, and I have been abusing it to the max this weekend!

Daniel called me while I was at Big C, and told me that he, Khim, and his two friends were going to the shooting range and that I should come join them, so when I got back from Big C I drove to meet up with them. The guns were super loud and a few of them were MASSIVE.
After that we all went to Lan Bae to have some food since none of us had eaten anything and it was getting pretty late. After a nice meal I went home and the boys went in to the city and at around 6pm I heard a bunch of loud bikes drive in to the condo complex, and they all stopped outside of my apartment, so I went out on my balcony, only to see the boys on massive bikes! They were awesome! And very loud haha

We went down to Daniel’s friends’ hotel where we hung out for a while before heading down to Walking Street for some late night shenanigans. We went to the bar I was at on New Years, then we went to Mixx, a Russian club at the end of Walking Street, then to Endorphine where we ended up in a room which was completely empty except for us and the DJ, after which we went to Marine, probably the best dance club in Pattaya, where we stayed until we headed back home at around 5:30am. Daniel’s friends went back to their hotel and the boys and I went to Kiss for some food before heading to our condos. We had to get up super early the next day, so I ended up staying at Daniel’s place just so that he could wake me up the next day.

Saturday morning I was the first one up, and I had to wake the boys up, which took a while. When I left Daniel’s place he was up so I went home for a shower, and by the time I was done, he had fallen back asleep, so then it took me some time to wake both him and Khim up.
We went down to Daniel’s friends’ hotel and his friends said they wanted to go Go Karting, only when we got there, they found out they could drive quads at another place, so we went there instead. By the time we got there it was about half an hour left until I had my dentist appointment to get my cavity fixed (finally!!) so I left them and went to the dentist, after which I went back and kept Daniel and Khim company while we waited for Daniel’s friends to come back.

It took Daniel’s friends way too long to come back so Khim, Daniel and I left and went to Two Lions, a Swedish restaurant in the middle of Pattaya, where I had Toast Skagen (good, but I have had better) and an Oxfilé pizza (massive and absolutely to die for!!). We went back to the condo and headed over to the night market where we walked around for a couple of hours trying to get the time to pass.

After we got home, Daniel messaged me and he and I went over to Fredrik’s condo in South Pattaya/Jomtien, and hung out with him for a while before heading back home and going to bed.

Sunday was pretty good too. Paid my rent (sad face) and went to work, where our boss gave us a goal of 15 bookings, so we got to leave at around 7pm (yayy!!!), so Khim, Fredrik and I went to Lan Bae where we met up with Daniel, and we all had some food and lots of laughs.
We weren’t sure of what to do after that, so Daniel, Khim and I went down to Walking Street to go to Lucifer to listen to some live music. We met up with Daniel’s friends and they went on the Sling Shot (oh my God) after which they ditched us to have McDonalds, and the boys and I went to Lucifer where we stayed most of the night.
The band that were performing were amazing last night, and we had a really good table right next to the stage, and at one point, the female singer and the rapper pulled me up on stage to dance with them (fun, but embarrassing). After a couple of hours at Lucifer, we went to Marine again to go dancing, which was fun, and at 4am I left to go home and sleep.

Today we all slept in and the boys didn’t wake up until around 4pm, so by the time they woke up I was starving, and so were they, so we went to Lan Bae for some quick food before going back home and relaxing before work.

Tomorrow (more like today in Thailand), it is my wonderful grandma’s birthday! Happy birthday grandma! I love you more than words!

Anyways, peace for now xxx

23.2.15 – 25.2.15

Dear Diary,

I haven’t been very Active lately, and I apologize, after the weekend I was still pretty drained mentally and didn’t feel up for anything really… I even de-activated my Instagram and Facebook for a couple of Days to regain energy mentally.

On Monday it was Liam, our first boy cousin’s 1st birthday. At least I Think so. We are not exactly sure when he was born because we didn’t find out about him being born until after about a month. But if my calculations are correct, Monday was his birthday.

On Monday I also got an apology from one of the people involved in the incident this weekend. Thank you.

Tuesday I cleaned my apartment which felt Amazing, and it is super Clean now. I also re-arranged some of my stuff, and I am really happy with the turn-out. I also spoke to the dentist and got an appointment for Saturday February 28th at 16:00. I cannot wait to finally have my tooth fixed! It has brought me a lot of pain!

I also applied for a bunch of jobs that I can do on the side of my current job, and I got a reply from one of the advertisers. The jobs is for a sales person position for a Magazine in Bangkok. Its called “Expat Women in Thailand” and I would basically be their spokes person in Pattaya. I would be attending events and meeting potential clients at places such as Hilton, Amanpuri, and other well-established businesses. I will be meeting with the guy I spoke to on Friday next week, and if that goes well, I will join him and the people he works with here in Pattaya for drinks at Hilton, as well as attend an event the next day at the Amari Resort. I am very excited!!

It has been a horrible week, really. Thursday last week, I find out I have a cavity in my tooth, the weekend was shit, Monday my internet was cut off, and last night my motorbike’s battery died and would not start back up.

Today I woke up and got the shock of a Lifetime. It was a good shock! I called my mom and I was at a loss of Words while speaking to her.

After speaking to my mom I wanted to go and get my bike’s battery changed, and my shoes broke! Fixed the battery, bought new Thongs, and then called TOT to fix my internet. Today has been a good day. Now all that is left to do is fix my tooth. I honestly can’t wait!

Today work started out really well, the first two people who picked up, I booked into meetings. Then it Went downhill from there and I haven’t gotten any more bookings since.

Oh, and over the past few Days, I have been Reading the One Direction fanficiton “After”, which I have Heard will soon be turned into a Movie! I have never read a fanfiction Before, but there’s so much fuss about it in the fandom, so I thought I’d ive it a go, and OH. MY. GOD. (Janice’s voice from Friends). This is my very own 50 Shades of Grey. It is so good and I cannot stop Reading it! I truly hope it will be turned into a movie!

Hopefully tomorrow I will get back to the gym. I really do miss working out.

Anyways, off for now!

Peace xx

Another birthday!

If I am not completely mistaken, I Believe it is my Little cousin Liam’s 1st birthday today.

I am not really sure when his birthday is, because my aunt didn’t notify my family when he was born. Instead, we found out from my grandfather. But if my calculations are correct, today is his birthday!

So happy birthday baby Liam!

Broken Arrows

I hate how people are so quick to judge you after you commit one tiny, little, insignificant mistake. You forget to do something, or say the wrong thing, and all of a sudden it is all you are to them. Its as if every good deed, every righteous word ever spoken, goes out the door.

I am sick and tired of being judged for a minor mistake I have made. Past or present. Have people never heard of forgiveness? Have they never heard of exoneration? Is someone who has always been truthful, sincere, ethical, genuine and true to me were to commit one microscopic mistake, I would pardon them. Sure, I’d ask them to not do it again, but I’d move on. If I knew for a fact, that this person was truly and honestly a generous, good-natured, kind person, I wouldn’t judge them because of one insignificant act they have committed.

Everybody makes errors at least once in their life. Everybody tells at least one little white lie, which is so little and such a white lie, it basically doesn’t even qualify as a white lie. These people do not deserve to be labeled as untruthful, dishonest, deceitful, two-faced liars. That is not fair.

It surprises me how such a small, itty-bitty incident can cause such a riot. It is childish that the people who believe that the person committing this “crime” actually meant to hurt them and meant the worst possible scenario, and that these people then resort to name calling and bad language. There is no need to resort to horrifyingly nasty, repulsive, offensive language and not converse about the issue in a proper manner. There is no need to play a game of “Who Has the Most Gruesome Language Skills”.

I think people should be more careful about what they say when they are communicating whilst angry. People say a lot of hurtful things when they are angry, and most of the time these things are said in the heat of the moment. The fact that most of these things are said in the heat of the moment does not make it easier to hear what they are saying. Nobody, no matter what they have done, deserves to be called nasty names. That is verbal abuse, and can mess with people’s heads far more than people may realize. You, as the one saying and calling people these things, may not realize it, but if you one day say these things to the wrong person, the end result may be a lot worse than you anticipated.

I have previously been called every name in the book, anything from a bitch to queen of all evil, but this was also back in middle-school when we all still reacted in such child-like manners. Now, we’re adults, and the person involved in this particular scenario, is a lot older than I am, so mid-20s!

Yesterday I was being called sick, disgusting, petty, childish, mentally disabled, quick fuck, fucked up, crazy bitch, dishonest, compulsive liar, pathetic, lunatic, easy lay, slag, horny slut, just to mention a few, and was told that I have no friends, that nobody I know would call me a friend, guys only want to fuck me because they are too embarrassed to be seen with me, and that guys would rather fuck a cactus than my “sleezy ass”, and so much more.

I am not saying people do not have the right to be angry, and speak their mind about it, but they should be more careful about the words they choose to use. Words sometimes hurt more than actions, and I don’t think people realize this. I find it childish that people resort to name calling and saying mean, hurtful, distressing things. Last night I also got the oh, so famous “What are we, back in kindergarten?”, while I was trying to converse about the issue in a polite manner and talk things through, and instead of responding in the same polite manner, this person kept on calling me names and saying hurtful things. I think this person should think before writing, because this person was the one acting as if we were back in kindergarten. I thought we moved on from name calling and such juvenile behavior when we became adults, but apparently I was mistaken.

If one of the people involved in this particular incident is reading this, I am sure that they will find a way to use this against me later, but I honestly don’t care. All I am saying here is that I think it is not right to call people names and say hurtful things. I am saying that instead of all of this, people should try to communicate about the issue in a polite, grown-up, mature manner.

And I also hope that the people involved realize that a lot of things get lost in translation, which happened a lot while this incident was going down, because the whole thing went down through text message. Things are written in the wrong way, or they are read in the wrong way and are then misunderstood, and sometimes people use the wrong word and that blows up in their face later.
When it comes to texting and such, people should learn to read between the lines and not take everything so literally. Not everything is meant EXACTLY the way they are written.

I am over this. I am not going to allow people to call me names, not again. I have learnt to not accept it, and I will not tolerate people calling me nasty names. Not when I know that I would never do that to them.

Rant over.

20.2.15 – 22.2.15

Dear Diary,

Sorry for being so quite the past couple days, but I really haven’t been feeling up for anything.

This weekend has been a shit weekend mostly and I have spent most of it in my bed, not really speaking to anyone.

I will not go into detail of what has happened on here because some people who were involved in it are my friends on Facebook, where all my blog posts are shared, and apparently a lot of things I write are misunderstood.

I have been called many names, and I have had people say really mean things to me, but what was said to me from a certain person this weekend was worse than anything I have ever experienced. The things this person said towards me were so uncalled for, and no one deserves to be called and told the things that this person said, no matter how angry the person may be.

I think that if you are mad at someone, you should talk to them about it and clear everything up, not resort to name calling and such childish acts.

I know I probably shouldn’t be writing anything about what happened here on my blog, because it will most likely be used against me later, but this is my “free” zone – a place where I can speak my mind and not be judged or hated on.

I have never, ever, met anyone with a mouth as dirty as this person. The things that were said to me were so mean and hateful, and I am truly hurt by the names I was called. These things were most likely said out of anger, but that still doesn’t mean that they were okay.

I am usually very good at shaking things off and letting go and moving on, but this was horrifyingly nasty. This person used repulsive, offensive language towards me and could not converse with me in a proper manner. I have never, in my entire life, met someone with such gruesome language skills.

It doesn’t matter what someone has done, nobody deserves to be called such ghastly names and be spoken to in such an appalling, atrocious, hideous way.

 

18.2.15

Dear Diary,

Last night after work I went home straight away and watched a few episodes of That 70s Show before going to bed at 4:30am. I woke up at 1pm today, but didn’t feel like going to the gym, so I stayed in.

Instead, I cleaned my apartment, something I really had to do, and something I should already have done. I also did my laundry and changed my bed sheets. Down on the first floor, where the water machine and washing machines are located, there are two washing machines, a bigger one and a smaller one. I did my laundry in the smaller one like I usually do, and when it was done and I was getting it out of the machine, all of my laundry was still soaking wet. Water was literally dripping from all of it. So off I went to get more change and then I transferred all of my laundry into the bigger one, hoping this one would spin all of the water out of it like the smaller one has done ever other time I have done my laundry.

I had some lunch while I was waiting for my laundry, and once it was done I hung it up on my balcony. I also went across the road to Big C and got some mosquito repellant spiral thingies or whatever they’re called. I usually leave my bedroom window and balcony door open to let fresh air into my apartment, with only a thin curtain covering them, which keeps most insects and bugs out, but some mosquitoes still get in, and even though they don’t bite me, I still find it annoying when I see them flying about.
I lit one out on my balcony, and sim-sala-bim! All of the mosquitoes were magically gone!

I watched the latest episode of Switched at Birth (awesome) and The Fosters (equally awesome) before Daniel came over and we drove to work.

Today work has been alright. I have four bookings so far, which is good, considering how little bookings I have had as an average everyday the past few weeks.

Other than that, not much else to say… Oh, I helped my mom translate some texts, and my little sis got her grades back for her exams – top grades! So proud of her! She is so smart and learns so quickly and easily! I am kind of jealous of her to be honest haha

Anyways, back to work now!

Peace x

17.2.15

Dear Diary,

Last night after work, Daniel and I went to Kiss together with Fredrik for a couple of drinks. We sat there and had plenty of laughs before Fredrik left at around 4:30am. Daniel and I were finishing out drinks so we stayed for a bit, and then we ordered more drinks because we weren’t tired. At around 5am, we heard someone shouting behind us in Swedish, so we turned around, and it was Khim. He had stayed home from work because of tonsillitis, but went to Walking Street and was absolutely blind by the time he came home. Because of his company, we ended up staying at the restaurant until 6:30am. We left and went home and I fell fast asleep as soon as I laid down in bed.

This morning, no, afternoon, I woke up at 4pm. The entire day had passed and I felt really weird. I feel odd whenever I sleep too much or too far into the day. I chilled in my apartment until around 6pm, when I went over to Daniel’s apartment and chilled there while he was getting ready. He takes forever so I went over there to make sure he hurried up. Then we went to Lan Bae for some food.
Khim is home today as well, because of his hangover, but also because a girl he met in Laos during his visa run is arriving tonight.

Today work has been pretty quiet as usual. Not much to say. Haha

Sorry for the lame post today, there really isn’t much to tell….

Peace xxx